Words by: Ashton
Our ancestors on one side of the family are from a little town in Switzerland named Kirchenthurnen. Actually, a lot of people we grew up around have roots in Switzerland, including both of our husbands. So of course we had to do a road trip through the area to see what the motherland was all about.
We saw green hillsides and quiet farms. Small communities that were deeply rooted and tight-knit. It was calm. Slow-paced. There weren’t many cars on the road. It was clear that the people there worked hard to maintain the life they lived and that things did not change quickly. Basically, it was like the Shire from Lord of the Rings.
And it actually felt very familiar. The church we were raised in was started by a group of devout Christians that moved to the United States from Switzerland in the mid-1800s. They formed a close bond based on shared values that are much the same today. They were hard-working and practical. they lived out their beliefs with dogged consistency. They took care of each other and protected the culture that they loved.
And that’s what hit me. What our church had was a culture. A strong, deep-set culture that came all the way across the ocean from Switzerland.
The people we saw on our trip even looked and dressed like everyone at the potlucks and reunions I went to as a kid. It was like watching my aunts walk past us on the sidewalk. The cemeteries we visited were filled with names that we knew well. In the Airbnb where we stayed, we found a copy of the same painting that hung in the kitchen of my grandma and grandpa’s house of a man praying over his dinner with a Bible beside him.
It was sweet to find that piece of my past in a place so far away. There was a lot of good in it all. But this is a complicated topic for me to write about. Kaitlin and I may have a Swiss heritage from one set of ancestors but there’s a lot more mixed in there too and we haven’t always felt like we belonged. Especially as strong women who maybe thought a little differently.
Also in our Airbnb was a Rick Steve’s guidebook, and while flipping through it I came across some interesting facts. Women didn’t have the right to vote in Switzerland until 1971. The book also mentioned high rates of depression and suicide for women compared to other developed countries. Not easy statistics to think about, but I want to be honest.
I’ll be honest about the emotions that come from my own experience of not having a voice. From feeling social pressure to conform to a culture that doesn’t always fit. There’s confusion there, some loneliness, and some deeper pain.
And maybe a lot of us feel like we’re different. That nowhere is a perfect fit. That might just be part of life. But actually, I think that’s OK. I don’t think conformity should ever be the goal. Tension is a good thing because it forces us fearful humans out of our comfort zones. That’s when we can learn from each other.
Wherever we are, we instinctively create cultures to feel safe. To feel like we belong somewhere. It’s not always about whether something is right or wrong. Maybe it seems right because it’s what we know, and whatever is different is a threat and therefore feels wrong.
The question is, can we push past our defenses and admit when it’s time to change? Yes, change is scary. The balance is in finding the bits of beauty and truth in what we’ve been taught and gratefully holding on to those while being brave enough to let go of the rest.
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